ronnie-bunny:

preciadology:

striders:

i wanna know wtf was up with the dude from ratatouille that this rat could just up and jaeger pilot his ass by pullin on his hair

hes a bottom

So we’re really going to expose Linguini just like that huh

malapine-art:

man this was a look tho

oh my god i’m cleaning out my desk and i found my first phone

propitlikeithot:

notevensneaky:

teaboot:

scotchtapeofficial:

princess-peridot:

scotchtapeofficial:

it was a fucking house phone that i was so stoked to have because it was mine that i kept in my own room and i cannot believe technology has progressed at the speed of FUCKING light to the point where this is a hilarious artifact to have had in like 6th grade and now theres kindergarteners with iphones

How did you know if you dialed the right number

each button made a different tone so the numbers you dialed a lot became a subconscious melody in your head and if you hit the wrong button by accident it would sound like a wrong note in a song you know by heart

i can’t beleive that is a legitimate question in my lifetime

Other acceptable answer: the wrong person answers on the other end.

Another acceptable answer: the robot lady comes on the phone and tells you number doesn’t exist.

yiffmaster:

this is about The Grinch

fluidpuck:

Two fair men lie in water warm and slow,

As brothers are they joinēd heart to heart;

But Cupid hath not struck them with his bow;

Lest that be thought, they sit five feet apart.

surprisebitch:

itstaakothywowzard:

kaijuno:

alvaroarbehoa:

coolcatgroup:

He like it

I’m crying

1-800-ARE-YOU-SLAPPIN

Someone reuploaded it to a porn site and I’m not kidding.

goodbye

I ain’t naming my kids S H I T !!!

kagekubi:

h8moshofficial:

tricksteroflifemain:

h8moshofficial:

They got no names!!!!!!!!

Until they 13 and they play a game and destroy the world 

What dis mean

Until they 13 and they play a game and destroy the world

choonchy:

iamoutofideas:

choonchy:

I miss sleeping next to someone

fucking idiot doesn’t even know the clone jutsu lol

I hate how fucking funny this is

jolly-ob-saint-nixilis:

okagami:

worldcircus:

42,000 matches .

when it all turned black with only a little fire on the side it looked like a hole burning into reality

creamchis:

mia7437:

creamchis:

jerryterry:

scotchtapeofficial:

jerryterry:

neopoints:

me n the girls walkin into target headed straight to the clearance bread rack

jerrod how long did it take you to photoshop all that bread

Did it the lazy easy way: 

It may be less than stellar, but I have a strict personal rule: “don’t put longer than 30 minutes’ effort into a fetish joke”. The second you hit 30:01, the exposure becomes lethal and the fetish becomes unironic.

FETISH?????????

god i wish i were you

this post ruined my life. everyone thinks im a innocent child because i overreacted on purpose for humor. ive gotten so many messages calling me a smol innocent bean. please let me die.

howdymynamesis:

curseworm:

howdymynamesis:

curseworm:

just lie down on the sidewalk with your tongue against the concrete till th whole world dissolves like an uncoated pill

i wanna know if op was okay when writing this

one day youll be face to face with whatever saw fit to let you exist in the universe and youll have to justify the space youve filled

what

mugica:

mugica:

mugica:

mugica:

mugica:

mugica:

mugica:

mugica:

im about to test the limits of discord nitro

we are almost there folks

discord you can lag all you want but you arent going to stop me from fitting the entire bee movie into a 50 MB gif.

Let me win, you fool.

is this how we play this game? very well.

my friends support me. i know within my heart. i can do it.

I did it…. I did it everyone. I’m the happiest person in the world.

imheck:

um waitress?? i ordered cocaine but all i got was this soft drink?? ?